


(if this is our last time together) i’ll pretend this love is forever

by TasteOfHoney



Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Emotional Sex, F/F, I promise XD, but don't worry it's all fine in the end, the summary is just a little melodramatic jfsdfhjkdfas, yeah this is like desperate emotional lowkey angsty smut cause that is the Good Shit™
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-10-29 06:56:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20792510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TasteOfHoney/pseuds/TasteOfHoney
Summary: “I can’t—” Yang starts, verbalising what neither of them are daring to say. “I can’t lose you, Blake. I won’t. Not when we’ve only just found each other again.”“Sometimes… sometimes we don’t have a choice.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> okay so this just kind of happened and uh don't kill me pls lmao :P
> 
> *nora voice* everything's fiiiiine, nothing bad EVER happened

They reach the spot where they’re supposed to wait half an hour early, and Yang studies her partner as they look down from the rooftop over the street below, observing the entrance of the building where the meeting of the remnants of Adam’s splinter group is supposed to be taking place soon. Blake is tense—well, they both are, but Yang knows her partner is the one feeling the stress more here—and her gaze remains fixed firmly on the door they’re meant to be watching, the silence between them heavy and oppressive rather than light and comfortable like usual.

“Blake, if you don’t want to do thi—”

“Don’t,” Blake says, and the word is hard but also a plea. “Don’t say that. Because then I’ll back out, and I _can’t _back out. We need that information, Yang, and I’m the only one of us who can get it.”

“You’re right.” Yang’s words come out dull, flat and lifeless, _resigned_. “You’re right - I _know_ you are, I just— I can’t—”

“I know,” Blake says, the way her voice cracks slightly only adding to the ache in Yang’s chest. She finally looks at Yang, if only for a moment, and Yang wishes her partner’s eyes weren’t hidden by that wretched mask. “Me neither.”

“I can’t—” Yang starts, verbalising what neither of them are daring to say. “I can’t lose you, Blake. I _won’t_. Not when we’ve only just found each other again.”

“Sometimes… sometimes we don’t have a choice.”

Blake sounds so pained, and Yang can’t take this a moment longer. She rests a hand on her partner’s arm, but Blake still feels so far away. “Look at me. Baby, please, look at me.” She waits until Blake turns to face her, and she can _feel_ the moment her partner’s eyes meet her own even if she can’t see them. “We _always_ have a choice. And I choose that you’re going to go in there, get what we need like the badass you are, and meet me right back here safe and unharmed in two hours like we agreed, okay?”

For a long moment Blake simply stares at her, and then their mouths are crashing together as she pushes Yang up against the nearest wall. She swallows Yang’s moan of surprise, hands fisting in the lapels of Yang’s jacket, and Yang’s hands find Blake’s hips to pull her closer as they lose themselves in each other.

The realisation that this could be the last time they get to spend together settles over them, and the frantic urgency of the kiss just isn’t _enough_. Blake’s fingers fumble clumsily with the buckle of her belt, and Yang tilts her hips forward, helping as her partner undoes the button and yanks the zip down. Then Blake’s hand is slipping into her underwear, finding her wet and needy, two fingers slipping inside—

Yang breathes a sigh of relief, the connection she craved now pulsing in every inch of her body as Blake starts to _move_. Through the growing haze of bliss Yang finds the presence of mind to reach down, to pull open the buckle of her partner’s belt, to undo her trousers and return the favour, needing to be inside of Blake as well, and when two of her fingers are surrounded by liquid heat she’s gasping into Blake’s mouth.

It’s so _easy_ to forget every terrible thing that could happen when Blake is filling every empty space, filling _her_, and Yang needs that. Needs to feel their connection as deeply as possible, just be as close to her as she can be, in case she never experiences this again. The mask makes it feel too distant, though—too cold even with the warmth of Blake’s ragged breaths brushing over her lips between every fervent kiss—and she’s starting to hate the damned thing.

Before she can think better of it, she reaches up, carefully taking hold of the edges of the mask and lifting it away from Blake’s face before letting it drop unceremoniously to the ground. For a beat her partner grows still, and Yang wonders if she made the wrong choice, but then Blake kisses her again, pulls back to look into her eyes, and Yang cups her face, grounding herself in the bond she can feel running electric in her veins.

She presses their foreheads together, and Blake doesn’t make her wait like she usually might— she adds another finger, stretching her wide, thumb coming up to circle her clit, and Yang melts, head falling back against the wall as she tries to match her partner’s rhythm. She doesn’t think it really matters, though—not when they’re both so far gone already—and instead of focussing on every thrust of her fingers she focusses on the feeling of Blake against her, so solid and _here_.

“I love you,” she pants, over and over, unable to stop saying it even when the words become almost incoherent.

The next time they kiss she tastes salt. She can feel herself getting close, but she doesn’t ever want this to end. When it’s over she’ll have to let Blake go, have to not be with her when she faces danger for the first time since they arrived in Atlas, and the thought is more than she can stand.

So she holds her tighter, kisses her harder, speeds up the movement of her fingers— Blake moans, far louder than she ever normally would, the vibration leaving Yang’s lips tingling and sending another rush of desire between her legs, and it pushes Yang just a little nearer to the edge.

“I love you too,” Blake tells her, voice rough and shaking. “I love you too.”

Yang’s fingers dig into her partner’s shoulder blades, nails dragging down her back, and she wishes Blake could _feel_ it. Feel the proof that they shared this— the proof of their devotion. But there are too many layers in the way, and she can’t give up even one second of this to peel her partner out of her clothes, so she’ll just have to hope that Blake’s soul can feel it even if her body can’t.

Blake’s free hand is still gripping the lapel of her jacket, and now it _tugs_, the harsh sound of the zip parting drowning out the sounds of their pleasure just for a moment. Yang shivers as her bare skin is exposed to the cool air, but then Blake’s mouth is on her chest, all tongue and a hint of teeth, and the tremors running down her spine are for a very different reason. It’s messy and uncoordinated, the burning need too strong to allow for any technique, but it’s _perfect_, and Yang cries out her partner’s name.

Blake moves back up to look into her eyes again, and Yang sees her own heart reflected back at her. It’s what finally breaks her, and she comes with a shuddering sob of release as she falls apart around her partner’s fingers. It takes at least a minute for her to come back down, but when she does she pulls out to find Blake’s clit, giving her pressure where she really needs it, and her partner follows her into ecstasy with a few desperate rocks of her hips.

Reality slowly creeps back in now that their passion is spent, and Blake withdraws, taking her fingers in her mouth to clean them off before bending to pick up the disguise Yang so carelessly freed her from earlier. Yang wants to say something—_anything_—but she doesn’t know what.

She’s about to say goodbye, even though every fibre of her being screams against it, but Blake seems to read her mind, silencing her with two fingertips over her lips.

“No, I’m— I’m not going to let you say it.” She kisses her one last time, and then she steps to the edge of the roof, looking down at their target. “They’re about to arrive. I’ll see you in two hours, Yang. I swear.”

She pulls the mask back on, sharp white bone covering the top half of her face, and then she turns and drops down gracefully into the darkness of the night, vanishing into the shadows.

Yang swallows hard, leaning back against the rough brick. She can still taste the scent of Blake’s perfume all around her, can still hear her voice in her ear, can still feel her inside of her— she buries her face in her hands, fighting back tears as she prays that this is another promise Blake will be able to keep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _There’s no sound, no movement, nothing, and a cold emptiness starts to spread through her body— through her heart._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nothing much to say except uh enjoy the bees!

Yang’s been pacing the rooftop for the last half hour at least, counting down the minutes until Blake’s supposed to be back.

_5\. _She thinks of the first time she saw her, in the main hall of Beacon, and how she never once expected to end up partnered with her for the next four years of her life.

_4\. _She remembers desperately pleading with her to rest, because she couldn’t bear to see her self-destructing the same way she once had herself, and not understanding why she was _so_ happy when Blake came to the dance and took her up on her offer.

_3\. _She thinks of the first time Blake broke her heart, the words _I want to believe you_ cutting into the very fabric of her soul.

_2\. _She thinks of the second time Blake broke her heart, simply by her absence when she woke up without an arm to find her gone.

_1\. _She remembers every moment of healing since then—every soft look, every tender word, every time she’s been lucky enough to hold Blake’s hand—and all of the ways Blake has not just promised but shown that she’s here to stay.

_0\. _There’s no sound, no movement, _nothing_, and a cold emptiness starts to spread through her body— through her heart.

She waits another agonising couple of minutes, and then she hears footsteps. She holds her breath, trying to tamp down on the hope blossoming in her chest in case it’s about to be dashed, but then Blake is pulling herself up over the edge of the roof, dusting herself off as she pushes herself to her feet, and Yang can breathe again.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I know I’m la—”

Blake doesn’t get the chance to finish apologising before Yang is pulling her into a hug, holding her as close as physically possible as her tears start to fall. The wetness seeping through the material of her jacket tells Yang that she’s not the only one crying, and she presses a kiss to the top of Blake’s head, smiling through her tears when her partner’s ears twitch at the affection.

She doesn’t know how long they stay like that—clinging to each other almost desperately, unable to let go—but she simply rocks them slowly back and forth, savouring the sensation of having Blake alive and safe and in her arms again. She can feel her partner shaking, and she knows that she wasn’t the only one who felt the pain of separation more deeply than words can express, but they’re together now, and that’s all that matters.

She forces herself to focus on the mission again just for a moment, though, to ensure that they haven’t put themselves through so much suffering for nothing. “Did you get what we need, baby?”

Blake pulls back, wiping away her tears and then reaching into her pocket. She pulls out a Scroll, holding it up triumphantly for Yang to see, and an unfairly attractive smirk curls at the corners of her mouth.

“Of course I did.” The confident purr of her tone has Yang’s throat going dry, but more than that she feels pride swelling in her chest.

“I knew you could do it,” she says, not caring how lovestruck the words come out.

Blake kisses her, relief and hope and joy contained in the meeting of their mouths, and for a long moment Yang just basks in the connection. But then Blake lets out a breathy sigh, deepening the contact, and Yang reluctantly pulls away. If she’s right about where this is going she wants to do it in a better setting than an abandoned rooftop this time.

Her partner looks a little disappointed, and Yang offers her hand. “How about we go back to our room, baby?”

Understanding dawns on Blake’s face, and she takes Yang’s hand, eagerly leading her back towards the inn where they’ve been staying.

They stumble through the door of their room ten minutes later, unwilling to separate long enough to make the journey easier, and when the door closes Yang gently pushes Blake up against it, lost in the warmth and softness of her partner’s lips. She didn’t take the opportunity to admire Blake’s outfit earlier, her mind too preoccupied with fear and worry, but now she gives it the attention it deserves.

The blood red logo splashed against the white of the robe makes Blake feel off-limits, dangerous, and the lack of sleeves shows off the lean muscle of her partner’s arms. There are far too many fastenings, however, and Yang feels a wave of relief when she reaches the last one, sliding it free and letting the fabric pool at Blake’s feet. The crop top underneath only emphasises her partner’s soft curves, and she runs her hands slowly up and down Blake’s sides, her fingers skimming perilously close to her breasts when Blake arches into her, welcoming her touch.

She finally dips under Blake’s shirt to find warm skin, and she inches the cotton upwards, delighting in the act of baring her partner until Blake finally pulls it over her head herself and throws it onto a nearby chair. Finally there are her partner’s trousers, the tight leather hugging her in all the right places, and Yang slides a hand down past the small of Blake’s back to grip her ass firmly.

Blake laughs, but it turns into a moan when Yang squeezes lightly, and Yang feels the sound land between her legs in a rush of desire. She withdraws her hand in favour of working on removing Blake’s trousers, and a few seconds later the final barrier separating them is being kicked aside by her partner. Yang reaches down to undo her own belt, guiding it out of the loops and tossing it to join her partner’s shirt on the chair, but that’s all she manages to do before Blake’s hand is on her chest, pushing her backwards towards the bed.

Yang falls willingly onto her back, chuckling at her partner’s eagerness, and Blake straddles her, pinning her to the mattress as she reconnects their lips. Neither of them can stop smiling, though, which poses a challenge, and the awkwardness makes them giggle between each soft kiss. Blake shifts slightly, and the movement aligns their hips, creating sweet friction right where it’s needed. In an instant the playful mood dies, replaced by something much heavier, thicker, more intense. Blake’s eyes darken, and the sounds of amusement become gasps of pleasure as she rocks against her, falling into a rhythm that is purposeful but far from urgent.

She can feel how wet Blake is even through her trousers, and she reaches out to mould her palms to the curve of her partner’s hips. But before they can settle there Blake has taken hold of her wrists, shoving her hands back down onto the bed. The message is clear—look but don’t touch—and Yang swallows hard, suddenly feeling the ache of her own arousal far more acutely.

She’s always loved it when Blake rides her— not only because Blake taking control never fails to turn her on like nothing else, but also because it gives her the incredible gift of getting to watch with a perfect view as her partner loses herself to pleasure. She gets to see Blake’s lips part, her eyes fall shut, her head tilting back to expose the column of her throat.

The sight makes Yang want to press a kiss over her pulse point, and the rapid rise and fall of Blake’s chest with every uneven pant of breath makes her want to cup her breasts. But she can’t do either of those things—she can’t do _anything_—and it’s driving her insane in the best possible way.

But then a thought occurs to her. It’s only Blake she isn’t allowed to touch— her partner never told her not to touch herself.

“Open your eyes. Please, look at me, baby.”

She knows the request won’t surprise her partner. Eye contact has sort of become their thing—neither of them tend to like making love without it, feeling the lack of intimacy too much—and sure enough, Blake opens her eyes, molten amber burning through all of the coherent thoughts in Yang’s head. She has just enough presence of mind to remember why she asked for this in the first place, however, and to follow through on her idea.

She runs her fingertips painfully slowly over her abdomen, making sure that Blake is observing every movement, and then she finally travels higher to cup her own breasts through her shirt. She pushes them together for a moment, practically offering them to her partner, but she doesn’t linger, letting go to play with her nipples instead, teasing them until they’re hard and she can tell Blake is dying to worship them with her mouth.

In a flash her hands are pinned to the mattress and Blake’s face is centimetres from her own, her partner’s eyes glinting with something fierce as she hovers over her. Blake lets go to pull Yang’s tank top off, and for a second Yang thinks she might get what she wants, but then a ribbon is being wound around her wrists and before she knows it her hands are bound together above her head.

“Maybe that will help you learn to behave,” Blake says, voice so low it’s almost a growl, but she waits until Yang nods to grant permission before continuing. “Or else I’m going to have to punish you.”

Yang gulps, and she feels herself get even wetter at the hard edge in her partner’s words. Blake often swings more towards this type of mood after missions, the adrenaline feeding her natural dominant streak, and Yang should have seen this coming. But she can’t say she even slightly regrets it when she’s equally happy with this result.

Blake moves up to straddle her face, and Yang puts her mouth to work without hesitation, parting her with a single broad stroke of her tongue before softening to gentle laps against her clit. Blake’s fingers fist tightly in her hair, and an uncharacteristically loud moan tells Yang that she’s already close to the edge. Within a minute Blake is gone,shuddering as Yang obediently cleans up the evidence of her release, letting her ride out the aftershocks on her tongue.

“I love you,” Blake gasps as she comes back down, and the words still make Yang’s heart flutter in her chest even though she’s heard them several times before before.

Her partner unties the binding and Yang flexes her fingers, pleased to find no discomfort. With her freedom of movement restored and the rule holding her back from touching Blake no longer in play, she shifts up to draw her into a hug, holding her close for a long moment before flipping them over, grinning down at her partner as the shock fades from Blake’s face and she laughs, light and carefree.

“I love you too,” Yang says, unable to stop smiling or keep the pure joy out of her voice. She waits just long enough to see Blake smile back before she lets her eyes drift shut as she leans down to kiss her.

She pulls open Blake’s fly, slides her hand past her waistband, and she takes the time to appreciate _everything_— the way Blake arches into her touch, the quiet sigh of relief as her partner’s lips part in ecstasy, the scent of lavender and sweat and sex flooding her senses. It doesn’t take long for Blake to fall apart a second time, and Yang nearly cries as it hits her that she might never have had the chance to feel this closeness again.

She refuses to let the tears fall, though, the love that she feels in this moment eclipsing any potential pain that the future might bring, and there’s only happiness running through her veins when Blake begins tugging down Yang’s trousers with a breathless promise of _your turn_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i hope the fluff here made up for the angst sdfjafgdhfaghsd
> 
> drop a comment if ya feel like it and i'll see y'all next time XD

**Author's Note:**

> welp hope that was gud even with the pain. i maaaaay have started writing a fluffy sequel but i wanted to get this out there now since i'mma be busier soon.
> 
> i promise i'll fix it eventually tho jfsdjkfhdkjfhas anyway ya know what to do, drop a comment if u like and i'll see y'all next time XD


End file.
